I’ve just returned from a whirlwind trip to France and Italy. It was a fantastic time, but honestly, it went by way too fast! Toward the end, I caught myself searching for apartment rentals in Paris, feeling the clock ticking down and not sure what to do. I even texted both my sons, asking, “Should I stay or come home?” Gotta love them—they just said, “You do you, Mom.” They’re always encouraging me to step out of my comfort zone. In the end, I chickened out, unable to face my fears, and decided going home was the best option. Damn it! What was the rush to get back? Now, I have serious regrets…

I’m not going to lie; coming back to an empty home hit me on so many levels. With both boys away at school and no dog, just trying to breathe and keep it together is all I can manage these days. I find myself at odds, struggling to know where I belong or where I’m supposed to be. Omg, I really need to give my head a shake!

DEEP BREATH

However, running away from life won’t solve anything, and that’s literally what I’ve been doing. You can’t just drop everything and leave—or can you? But aren’t we all running from something? Is it fear that’s holding me back from moving forward? I’ve only known this life, the one I’ve been living for so many years. It’s scary to think I could do it differently. But what does that even look like?

EXHALE

I think we can all agree that most of us struggle with self-doubt, overthinking situations, and wishing we could have done things differently. So with that, I say, let it go—stop playing that movie in your head. It’ll eat you up! I’m working on getting those images out of my mind and starting fresh with a clean slate. Hanging on to the past will only drag you deeper into that rabbit hole, and who the hell wants to live in a rabbit hole?

BREATHE

Stop overthinking shit—that’s been my daily mantra. Turning off the control switch is tough, but I’m trying. What if I just let the chips fall where they may and stop worrying about the “what ifs”? I’m working on changing my mindset to “whatever” and being okay with the outcome, facing my fears head-on.

BREATHING

Whatever decisions I make going forward, I have to kick fear’s butt, or I’ll always wonder, “what if?” Life is full of excitement, surprises, and miracles, and I’m not about to sit in the back seat and watch it pass me by.

LIVING AND BREATHING

Paris will always be there, waiting for me. Timing is everything, and maybe this just wasn’t the right time for me to stay. But Paris, like a lover, will be there if it’s meant to be. From now on, I’m making sure fear stays out of my plans—whatever those plans may be.