FINALLY! The universe is listening to me, likely exhausted from hearing my cries and all of my F-bombs.
Not giving the specifics, let’s just say synchronicity was at work several weeks ago, I said nothing, afraid I may jinx it for myself. Hopefully, I wasn’t calling his bluff, and the emotions were real. It felt right, an attraction, chemistry, and a connection, which for me, doesn’t come along often. I know I’m overthinking again, it’s hard not to when someone ignites a fire in you. Did I imagine all of this in my head? The last thing I need is complicated, and timing is everything. I need to be with someone who’s into me, as I with them but having the freedom to move forward. What are the rules, fearful that I’m stepping on eggshells, am I doing this wrong? If it’s meant to be, it will happen, as for the universe, you’re getting warm.
At this stage of my life, I expect to meet people (men) with baggage, I use the term lightly, we all come with some version of it. Naturally, I’m referring to ex-wives, husbands, unresolved issues, damaged goods syndrome (apparently it’s a thing), trust and children, just a few to mention. I know I fall under a few of those categories and we’re all trying to figure this out. Here’s the thing, you can’t expect to meet someone and assume you’re at the same stage of life. I’m pretty confident you would need to date a lot of people to finally meet that fantastic person who just happens to be an empty nester like yourself. Either you go along with whatever their life serves up, or you will be left behind BUT if you can’t deal with what they’re serving, time to get out now. That said, what if that guy you’ve been waiting for is there for the taking, despite their baggage? It’s a hard one, convincing them you’re ready and willing may make you sound desperate, god forbid! What’s wrong with taking a chance? So, yes, said guy had me, at hello, but in the end, it’s all about timing. Unfortunately, I’ll never know what could have been and neither will he.
It’s not death but sometimes it feels like it…ending a relationship, a marriage, a bond with that person who was once your best friend, it’s the hardest ever imaginable. You can be strong and invincible, but if you are honest with yourself, it hurts like hell! And so, I wonder about a future with someone, how do we get past all of our shit? I need to look after me and my feelings going forward, taking baby steps for something great down the road or for synchronicity to catch up.
Is it time for me to take that exit for an entry somewhere else?