June 29, 2018

If I Can Turn Back Time

From the lyrics of Cher’s 80’s hit Wonder to the age-old question, what would you do differently if you could turn back time?

To be clear, this has nothing to do with regrets; that’s another blog entirely. Seriously, we shouldn’t waste our time on regrets. Those were lessons learned, and hopefully, we’ve moved on from that, right?

There is so much going on these days with my son’s graduation and school finally winding down. I hope I’m not boring you to tears.  Conversations keep popping up, the latest, my son’s future plans, university specifically.  Is it a waste of time to take an extra year? I think not, learning is never a waste of time, ever!

I am constantly hungry for new ideas and concepts, in all areas, well ok, I don’t think I’ll ever grasp rugby but I “tried!” (bad joke).  As I observe my seventeen-year-old, I think, what’s a year out of your life in the grand scheme of things?  Easy for me to say but when you stop to think how quickly life goes by,  I’m slightly panicked at how little time I may have left. Am I being a little dramatic? Maybe. I’m only 53, and I’ve passed the halfway mark, making my mantra of late “live life in the moment, don’t wait for the moment to live.”  Which sums up how we need to live going forward.

Making things right, learning something new, or staying with that special person who was perfect in the end? Ha! Would have, should have. But what if you could turn back time? What would you do differently or change? So many things race through my mind – like, what was I thinking with those perms in high school? Seriously though, without those perms, maybe I would’ve had a few more dates, possibly avoiding the whole “Adventure guy” phase. However, if I hadn’t met him and later broken up with him five years down the line, I never would’ve crossed paths with my husband, or had my wonderful children, friends, or the life I cherish.

And then there’s the contemplation of what if I had gone to university (which I didn’t)? Would I have still met my husband there? Probably not, considering I would’ve been a couple of years ahead of him. If I had traveled more in my 20s, chances are my life would have taken an entirely different trajectory. It’s not an easy decision – the repercussions of your changes may cut deep. Some of you might have glaringly obvious things or situations you’d like to go back and alter. Will it affect your future self for better or worse? You won’t miss what you don’t know, but what if this life is the best version so far?

We navigate through a lot of challenges in our day-to-day lives – much like our closets, we need to pare back and edit what works and what doesn’t. Decide what brings you joy and discard what doesn’t, and that includes people too!

As for my son, who is concerned about taking an extra year out of his life for additional education?   I say you do you…your life is your lab, your experiment, your version in any way you can imagine it.  There is no right or wrong way,  all roads will eventually lead you to your success, however long it takes. An extra year could possibly present you with more opportunities, friendships, travel, a great job that may not have been waiting for you a year earlier.  There is no going back in time, embrace the hurdles, sides and accoutrements, these are the little gifts that you miss when you are too busy rushing through life.

Going back in time? Nah…Going forward and doing it right the first time and taking life full on!




The comments +

  1. My 22 year old daughter is entering a two year commitment to teach at an international school in Ankara, so understand a bit about what you are saying about your son. Why discourage that? There is no reason, only joy that my child is going after experiences that I only can wish I had. About how past relationship decisions affected my life, well, I think the relationships were only secondary to where I was headed. The only regret I have is that I wish I had asked myself a few more questions before I asked the woman who became my wife to marry me. Either way, what’s more important is how I have handled what life has thrown at me.

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