I’m one week into this ridiculous online dating game (it feels more like trolling), using an app and swiping right to meet potential single men. Even as I’m typing this, it sounds ridiculous.

What has happened to us? Are we really trying to find love or future partners on a dating app? I can only speak from my own experience. I have often heard from friends, “So and so met on a dating website; it’s the way people meet now.” REALLY? I’m not buying it… hear me out; you post a few tasteful photos of yourself, a good representation of the current year, right?

I was blown away by the outrageous profile photos (there’s a business in this). But, men…WTF, why are you posting pictures of yourselves hugging fish, pumping iron in the weight room, or worse, selfies in the bathroom with shirts off? STOP IT!

What is the message you are sending? It’s literally the equivalent of women posting photos of themselves in bikinis. Ok, you got me, yes, I posted a picture of myself in a bikini sitting on the beach, but it was tasteful. But, guys, seeing those crazy pics of you doing weird and wonderful things, it’s a definite swipe left.

However, here’s some insight from my younger son; he says, “A photo of a man holding up a fish shows yes, he can catch a fish, but it also shows he can be a provider and that he is proud of his accomplishments, it also shows his masculine side.” Sure, I will agree with my son’s analogy regarding fish photos, but there’s no way I’m buying into a deeper meaning of shirtless photos except to say I’m ripped!

I have put myself out there, seriously! I can’t help feeling like a piece of meat; in my mind, I’m a filet mignon, only to discover I’m more stewing meat or a chuck steak. I’m tough, but I’m all-natural, Grade A, aged to perfection, and has been with the same partner for 31 years!

So yes, I come with baggage too. Could this be a bigger turn-off?! You’re given a paragraph to describe yourself best; I fill in…” I’m 5′ 7″, easy going, enjoy music, wine, and food. I love to travel. I don’t skydive or surf, but I am open to most things…I’m an urban girl and enjoy the theatre and museums.” It’s brief, and to the point, or so I think.

Most men leave this part blank, assuming their profile photos will earn them a swipe right. I met one swiper; his profile appeared “normal,” After texting with him for a while, we decided to meet for coffee. He arrived, several inches shorter than me; needless to say, it was slightly awkward. Height matters to me, so this information, or lack thereof,  would have been helpful. Good things come in small packages, but this fellow was barely hitting me at eye level.

I find the entire experience humiliating, and to be honest, maybe I’m not desperate enough to continue this charade because it’s utterly a shit show! There’s no science behind it. You have a photo, and he has a photo, and if you both swipe each other right, it’s a freak’n miracle! What about the handful of men I swiped, right? Who didn’t swipe me? Have I passed my prime for men of the same age? Do I really need to shop around the nursery aisle for men in their 30s and 40s?

I’m not looking for just anyone; hence, the featured image “looks like you’re out of people,” which makes me laugh each time. I seem to be mainly swiping left instead. Oof! So yes, perhaps I’m holding out for that chance meeting of someone special on the seawall or shopping for groceries; we both reach for the same steak; he says he likes a good tenderloin, I say…”all-natural, Grade A, aged to perfection?” LOL, you get the idea? I’ll keep you posted on where this crazy online dating thing goes or doesn’t go. For now, I’ll try not to take things too seriously, maybe ask a few more questions, and who knows?

LC

xo

P.S. Please share; apparently, I need all the help I can get!