I’m in a funk.
The definition; avoiding (a task or thing) out of fear or just not knowing how to do something or where to begin. Yep! Totally me, avoid, avoid, avoid. That’s not to say it’s a bad thing. Learning something new through experiences or studies is a process; knowledge opens our minds to new thoughts and ideas and makes us grow as a person. However, this old mind is struggling. This isn’t my norm, and no, lounging around in my pj’s binge-watching Netflix is not an option, or at least not for now. I’m distracted, and I can’t seem to shrug this mood or get myself motivated. Is there something in the air? OR a pandemic finally catching up to me? Gasp!
I love to write
My writing has been my creative outlet; it’s my Ikigai, my reason to get up in the morning, writing and coffee. They go hand in hand. Which, at the moment, has been on pause for more than a month. You’re welcome? With numerous blog drafts (seriously, lots) on the go at any given time, I’m not short on topics to discuss or things to say. Yet my thoughts (too many?) or lack thereof are holding me back.
So, I’m wondering, is this it? Have I finally succumbed to writer’s block? For the past six months (let’s be real), it’s more like eight! I challenged myself by taking on the redesign of my website. Which is totally out of my wheelhouse. I convinced myself (it was a long conversation) I could do this, and I did! It was a HUGE learning curve, and I am proud of what I’ve accomplished. That said, there’s more to manage than just a website. With social media posts, newsletters, freebies and more. Holy Sh*t! This is new territory and more sharing than I had anticipated. No, seriously! I’ve had my doubts. Have I taken on too much? Was this all for nothing? YES, I’m second-guessing myself, and I’m disappointed. It’s normal to feel this way, but for me, it comes down to, am I good enough?
I have a love-hate relationship with my Instagram account. It’s sucking me into its social media vortex. As I scroll through endless posts of perfectly filtered selfies, how-to tutorials, self-help, and look what I’m…(fill in the blank with some random meal at a trendy restaurant). It’s waaaay too much information, even for this girl. Yes! It can be overwhelming. But, what I realize, is that we’re all trying to establish a connection. Right? I guess I’m no different. Shared experiences are a powerful way to build those connections and make us relatable. But, while I’m putting myself “out there” comes judgment. Not for one moment do I think I’m perfect, nor do I live a perfect life, to the contrary. What we see on social media should actually be labelled smoke and mirrors. View at your own risk!
I won’t quit
So, here I am again, reminding myself why I started this writing journey. Yes, I’m in a funk. Instead, let’s call it a setback or simply a starting point for new possibilities. Perhaps my mind needed the break.
With a new season just around the corner, it’s everything I can do to hurry it along! I know, I know, don’t wish the summer away. But, I’m excited for a bit of change, one that I’m sure, we can all appreciate. I have a lot of great writing projects to look forward to. I hope you’re ready? Ideas are only ideas until you act on them. I need to get my butt moving! OR Switch out my morning coffee for a little more confidence. Stay tuned!