January 6, 2019



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Essentially, I'm your friend down the street who started blogging, and then life threw lemons (AKA Divorce), and suddenly I found myself here, talking to you! 
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I was having coffee this morning with a close friend, I love how our conversations evolve from “did you hear what happened in the news” to “what’s going on in your dating world?” Ha! My favourite topic which sends a chill up my spine, I’ll try not to rehash what I’ve previously written.  It’s not like I’ve never been in a relationship, I have but not once did I think twice about picking up the phone and calling or texting.  Back then, here I go again…it was straightforward and simple ( I know, old school). Are we playing a different game, if so, what are the rules?  I text you, the ball is in your court, if you don’t respond, I move on? What?!

What if the person you are texting is on the shy side, or new to the dating scene, perhaps they don’t want to make the first move.  What then?  Do you both stare at your stupid phones and decide, I guess they’re just not into me? OMG, please tell me this isn’t true! Meanwhile, another close friend of mine recently started seeing a neurosurgeon, she commented on how sweet her guy was, sending her an emoji before surgery.  HUH?! My friend has either met a unicorn or someone who actually knows how to manage his time efficiently and or actually cares, or both.  The point here is if the crazy schedule of a brain surgeon can take the time to send a text message, what’s wrong with the rest of us?  This isn’t brain surgery but the complication of texting feels like it is. Imagine the great texts you might have received from that special someone if there was no pressure to wait your turn to text. Or, what if you wanted to send a quick text just wishing them well and or a thought about something? Is this a bad thing? Are you only allowed to text when the ball is in your court?

sport ball tennis paddle

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Obviously, once you’ve made it to the next level ie; relationship, messaging becomes something different.  By this point, you’ve established a connection a bond or whatever you want to call it, the game stops or at least it should? Communication is huge, I’m a big fan of picking up the phone and talking, old school, yes but hearing the other person’s voice sets the tone for the conversation.  I might be out to lunch on this subject but like a lot of us, I’m learning as I go along.

Wasted nights I lay awake wondering, what could I have said differently or not said,  had I screwed up? Yes, because I like to overthink shit, deciding to go with what felt right and in the end, not playing the game and being my authentic self worked best.  Amazing! I got a text back…the ball was definitely not in my court and nor did it feel like brain surgery.





The comments +

  1. I am not sure what this means, but one of the “More On WordPress” blog suggestions for this blog is from ‘WeAreTheGayteKeepers”.

    If I talked to you every day, something tells me “just take a deep breath, Llorea” would be a frequent sentence from my lips. Have fun with the online dating stuff, just let it happen, don’t sweat the small stuff — like waiting for a message reply. Sometimes it will happen in tiny but quick steps, sometimes it will be a big boom. My suggestion? You are thinking the right way by preferring old school, talking by voice instead of by text. After the relationship takes off, little text messages to let me know that she is thinking of me (and vice versa) are nice, but constant texts can come on like an invasion. As you know, my current girlfriend uses texts like a weapon!

    Best wishes. Take a deep breath, Llorea!

    • lol…WearetheGaytekeepers, I checked them out, no mention of my blog, you’re funny!

      Yes, I’m impatient and I’m learning. That said, I have literally just finished a “FOUR” year crazy separation, I have been nothing but the utmost patient person. So clearly, I need my life to move on, right? Don’t worry, I’m not some serial texter, in fact, I’m the opposite. I would hate sounding desperate or needy, NOT my style. But this topic of texting comes up often, just say’n. BTW, no online dating for this girl, it’s a shit show out there!

      • Ok, 4 years qualifies you as a super hero with super patient powers. 4 years would drive me super crazy. I remember that trapped feeling.. and it was complete torture.

        Texting can show how attentive a person can be, reveal their sensitivity and level of courtesy. It doesn’t matter how interested or busy I am, most people deserve a prompt response.. even if it requires more careful thought. Careful responses are the fun part!

  2. By the way, the gatekeepers blog must have come up because your blog was about texting. It was a blog about texting etiquette for gay men!

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