I was having coffee this morning with a close friend, I love how our conversations evolve from “did you hear what happened in the news” to “what’s going on in your dating world?” Ha! My favourite topic which sends a chill up my spine, I’ll try not to rehash what I’ve previously written. It’s not like I’ve never been in a relationship, I have but not once did I think twice about picking up the phone and calling or texting. Back then, here I go again…it was straightforward and simple ( I know, old school). Are we playing a different game, if so, what are the rules? I text you, the ball is in your court, if you don’t respond, I move on? What?!
What if the person you are texting is on the shy side, or new to the dating scene, perhaps they don’t want to make the first move. What then? Do you both stare at your stupid phones and decide, I guess they’re just not into me? OMG, please tell me this isn’t true! Meanwhile, another close friend of mine recently started seeing a neurosurgeon, she commented on how sweet her guy was, sending her an emoji before surgery. HUH?! My friend has either met a unicorn or someone who actually knows how to manage his time efficiently and or actually cares, or both. The point here is if the crazy schedule of a brain surgeon can take the time to send a text message, what’s wrong with the rest of us? This isn’t brain surgery but the complication of texting feels like it is. Imagine the great texts you might have received from that special someone if there was no pressure to wait your turn to text. Or, what if you wanted to send a quick text just wishing them well and or a thought about something? Is this a bad thing? Are you only allowed to text when the ball is in your court?
Obviously, once you’ve made it to the next level ie; relationship, messaging becomes something different. By this point, you’ve established a connection a bond or whatever you want to call it, the game stops or at least it should? Communication is huge, I’m a big fan of picking up the phone and talking, old school, yes but hearing the other person’s voice sets the tone for the conversation. I might be out to lunch on this subject but like a lot of us, I’m learning as I go along.
Wasted nights I lay awake wondering, what could I have said differently or not said, had I screwed up? Yes, because I like to overthink shit, deciding to go with what felt right and in the end, not playing the game and being my authentic self worked best. Amazing! I got a text back…the ball was definitely not in my court and nor did it feel like brain surgery.