Enough! I’m done wallowing, after three weeks of being on my own (it was harder than I thought) it’s time to focus and start living my life…AKA, reinventing myself. No fricken pressure!! Along with that, I feel tremendous judgement and I know it’s all in my head, doing my best to work through this. I’m catching up to women my age who have had successful careers while raising kids, thinking, what the hell have I been doing? It’s hard not to compare myself, feeling I don’t bring much to the table except for an amazing Boeuf Bourguignon. I KNOW, there’s nothing wrong with that, I gotta say, it’s a yummy Boeuf Bourg! But seriously, let’s think about this…I spent the better part of my years staying home raising kids, channelling Cinderella and gardening my brains out, calling it my creative outlet. Okay, so some of you may think, that doesn’t sound like a bad gig and the truth is, it wasn’t. But it didn’t come without frustrating moments, that said, I wouldn’t change a thing! And to be honest, I was great at it!
At this stage of my life, I’m just trying to figure out who or what I want to be when I grow up…I don’t even know who “ME” is? I stayed home to raise these amazing kids and I had the luxury to do so (for which I’m thankful for) but now what?
A friend suggested I needed a project, I agree, I probably need several! For years I’ve been hitting the pavement running, no time to think about anything. Now, for the first time I can stop and think, “what do I want?” I’m not alone, this is a trending topic in the coffee circles, there are so many of us who are at the same stage where kids are gone or close to going, it’s like retirement, except, I didn’t have a plan for what happens after…
So what happens after? Honestly, so many options, I have dreams that I don’t even know how to begin to share. Dream Big, I tell my sons, don’t let anyone tell you it’s not possible, that’s like giving up in my opinion. You do you! What I do know…work keeps the brain going, challenges us and gives us a human connection. It’s important to do something creative, I guess that’s my writing, I’m trying to launch it into something bigger, still learning how and I’ll figure it out. And of course, it’s important to have someone to share all of this with and my girlfriends have been my rocks, my sounding boards, my everything!! If it wasn’t for these amazing individuals cheering me on to keep going, I would be one fucking hot mess! I am so fortunate to have these strong women in my life, LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!
Reinventing myself, YES but keeping myself real and being authentic is most important. I’m putting my best foot forward, trying not to compare myself to anyone else, we’ve all had different journeys. This will be a challenge and I’m planning to hit it out of the park, it may take several pots of Boeuf Bourguignon but it will be a tasty home run!