Enough! I’m done wallowing; after three weeks of being alone now that both my sons are away at school (it was harder than I thought), it’s time to focus on me and start living my life…AKA, reinventing myself. No fricken pressure!!
I also feel tremendous judgement, and I know it’s all in my head; I am doing my best to work through this. I’m catching up to women my age who have had successful careers while raising kids, thinking, what have I been doing? It’s hard not to compare myself, feeling I don’t bring much to the table except for an amazing Boeuf Bourguignon. I know, there’s nothing wrong with that; I’ve got to say, it’s a yummy Boeuf Bourg!
But seriously, let’s think about this, I spent most of my years staying home raising kids, channelling Cinderella and gardening my brains out, calling it my creative outlet. Okay, so some of you may think that doesn’t sound like a bad gig, and the truth is, it wasn’t. But it didn’t come without frustrating moments; that said, I wouldn’t change a thing! And to be honest, I was great at it!
At this stage of my life, I’m just trying to figure out who or what I want to be when I grow up. I don’t even know who “ME” is. I stayed home to raise these fantastic kids and had the luxury to do so (for which I’m thankful) but now what?
A friend suggested I needed a project. I agree. I probably need several. I’ve been hitting the pavement running for years with no time to think about anything. Now, for the first time, I can stop and think, “what do I want?” I’m not alone; this is a trending topic in the coffee circles; so many of us are at the same stage where kids are gone or close to going; it’s like retirement, except I didn’t have a plan for what happens after…
So what happens after? Honestly, so many options. I have dreams I don’t know how to begin sharing. Dream Big, I tell my sons, don’t let anyone tell you it’s impossible; that’s like giving up, in my opinion. You do you!
I know that work keeps the brain going, challenges us and gives us a human connection. But finding a creative outlet is also important; that’s my writing. Of course, I’m trying to launch it into something bigger, but I am still learning how and will figure it out. And it’s essential to have someone to share all this with; my girlfriends have been my rocks, sounding boards, and everything!! If it weren’t for these amazing individuals cheering me on to keep going, I would be one fucking hot mess! I am so fortunate to have these strong women in my life; I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!
Reinventing myself, YES, but keeping myself authentic is most important. I’m putting my best foot forward, trying not to compare myself to anyone else; we’ve all had different journeys. This will be a challenge, and I’m planning to hit it out of the park; it may take several pots of Boeuf Bourguignon, but it will be a tasty home run!