August 4, 2018

Too Young?

Here I am in the middle of the dating world, where you get to decide your criteria, customizing your wants and needs for a partner (sounds absurd). How far will you travel for a relationship, religion or none,  tall or short or how old that person should be? I feel the most comfortable with five years older and five years younger, and I use that as a benchmark. So naturally, I won’t say NO to someone six years younger who’s hotter than hot. That would be crazy, right?

But lately, the topic of conversation keeps coming up, how young is too young for women dating in their 40s or 50s? Careful, think hard and consider what you would do if you were in any other part of the world with no one to judge you. Just to be clear, I’m not inferring anything illegal. I’m talking about two consenting adults motivated to have that epic May-September romance. Look it up, it’s a thing, BUT it’s usually younger women with older men. I might add younger women have been matched up with older men for centuries.

So are times changing, or have I been out of the loop and just realizing this now? Older women are stereotyped or referred to as cougars, MILF and who knows what else, making us sound desperate. We’re not! Men, I’m calling you out…apparently, you don’t give it the slightest thought, and I’m not here to judge; just trying to understand.  

I’ve raised boys, both young adults, asking them, “How would you feel if your friend showed up at the bar with his 30-something girlfriend?”  Both responded that it would be weird “now,” but the age gap would lessen as you got older…”

With only a handful of movies covering this subject, “Adore” is a film with Naomi Watts and Robin Wright. They take steamy and uncomfortably sexy to a whole other level. Two lifelong friends fall in love with each other’s sons. This gives me an EWEEEE feeling every time I think about this.  

And let’s not forget the classic, The Graduate, with Anne Bancroft (Mrs. Robinson) seducing a very young Dustin Hoffman. In the Summer of ’42, Jennifer O’neal’s character seduces an adolescent boy after finding out her husband was killed in action during WW2. So are these movies creepy or just your typical love story?

Should there be boundaries when it comes to love? I can hear you all freaking out on the other end…I’m just the messenger. Does age matter?!

That said, I’m not discussing anything that hasn’t been discussed. I’m new to the dating scene and all of this relationship stuff, and trying to keep my eyes wide open.

Are we really about free love, opening our hearts to whatever will be will be? I find the topic fascinating, and I have heard MANY opinions, from “That’s crazy” to “If you’re into each other, why not?”  I won’t try to solve this, but it does make me think about partners going forward. LOL..me being me, I’ll stay close to what I know best, making young at heart a much better option!

LC

xo

The comments +

  1. Sex in the City 😉

  2. Younger women don’t appeal much to me. Seriously. No, really, I mean it. Although, now and then the thought does strike me, especially when a young woman flirts. They think an older man is unattainable, I suppose.

    If you can keep up with a younger man, go for it!

  3. I noticed the younger man thing when I tried online dating. It freaked me out too. But then I thought about my ex, and his MUCH younger new wife, and suddenly it was easier to accept the possibility. Why not me? The only issue that came up (for me) was maturity level. They were much younger inside too, still playing little boy games, not a road I want to go down. I’m already raising three boys of my own I don’t want to finish raising someone else’s boy now 😉 Maybe I just met the wrong younger men? It was fun, the short term adventure of it all, but I’m with you about the five years either way now.

  4. Chadlee says:

    I say have the attitude of age is just a number and focus on finding someone who makes you happy.
    That is coming from a divorced (7 years), full-time single father who doesn’t date.

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