Sitting alone at a local pub, ironically, the song playing is “IM NOT IN LOVE”, and no, hanging out in pubs is not something I do on a regular basis, making this an experiment.  A new song playing,  Roy Orbison “YOU GOT IT”, lol, someone is messing with my head.   I’m exhausted trying to figure out this hunting shit, meaning…dating, meeting and just finding that special person.  Which at the end of the day, is what everyone wants, right?

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Where does one start?  So,  I’ve done the online dating thing, oh my god, totally not my thing, see my blog “swipe right” it’s a shit show out there.  So where can you meet people?  I don’t know? I am putting myself out there, all the time, seriously, I am!  Every day I hear about so many couples splitting up, so where are the men?  Oh! I know, they’re out there dating 20 plus somethings, so that fucks up a lot of women in my age category.  This is very messed up…and so, I go about my business thinking there’s gotta be someone out there, maybe I’ll meet soon.  Like who? I have no idea, can they have a job, not live with their parents, have money in their bank accounts and have no drama?  I can’t be someone’s purse or nurse, just say’n.

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I’m pretty sure I don’t need to hang out in bars to meet men, confirming this by looking around me, a lot of men here but definitely not interested in anything but the game on tv or the beer they’re drinking.  Having a moment here…Thank you, my dear ex-husband, for this life! He points out “ALL” the time how he’s stressed and takes all the risk for everything,  I have a few words for him, “You’re an Idiot”! Yes, that was my inside voice but I didn’t ask to be single and I didn’t ask to be alone, just to be clear, I’m not lonely, (thank god for amazing friends) but its hard to be on my own.  It’s amazing how he never once considers what I might be going through,  giving his shit an eye roll…

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So, what’s a single girl to do? Well, I just planned another trip for “one” to Paris and if you’ve been following me, the husband didn’t show up for the last Paris trip (unfortunately, that ship has sailed)…I’m going back, it’s home for me, I don’t understand it but it’s home.

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With everything said, I’m gathering my thoughts and running with them, not sure where they land.  Frustrated, feeling the time tick away, wondering, what will become of me and my soul mate (the hunted)?  Maybe I’m too much for the man I dream about, or sadly, he doesn’t exist?  Not giving up, he’s out there but not tonight, I’m not in love…

LC

xo