Sitting alone at a local pub, I find it ironic that the song playing is “I’m not in love.” To clarify, hanging out in pubs isn’t my usual routine; this is more of an experiment. As I sip my drink, a new song starts: Roy Orbison’s “You Got It.” Someone seems to be messing with my head, or maybe it’s a quirky coincidence.

I’m exhausted trying to navigate this whole dating and meeting people scene—call it the hunting expedition for that special someone. It’s a puzzle to figure out; honestly, it can be draining. Isn’t finding that one special person what everyone ultimately desires? The quest continues, and tonight’s pub escapade is another chapter in the ongoing adventure.

Where does one start? I’ve ventured into online dating, and oh my god, it’s just not my thing. The whole experience is a bit of a shit show, as detailed in my blog Swipe Right. So, where does one meet people? Honestly, I’m not sure. Despite putting myself out there all the time, I wonder where all the eligible men are.

Every day, I hear about so many couples splitting up. So, where are the men? Perhaps they’re out there, but many seem to be dating women in their 20s, which can complicate things for those in my age category. It’s frustrating as I go about my daily life, thinking there has to be someone out there for me. Maybe I’ll meet them soon.

Ideally, I hope to meet someone who has a stable job, doesn’t live with their parents, has financial stability, and is drama-free. I can’t be someone’s purse or nurse, just sayin’. It’s a challenge, but I’m optimistic that the right person is out there.

I think I’ll pass on the idea of meeting men in bars, a notion affirmed as I look around and notice that many here seem more engrossed in the game on TV or the beer they’re drinking. Thank you, dear ex-husband, for this life. I didn’t ask to be single, and I certainly didn’t ask to be alone—just to be clear, I’m not lonely, but navigating life on my own is undeniably challenging.

It’s astonishing how he never once considered what I might be going through, prompting me to give his complaints a well-deserved eye roll.

So, what’s a single girl to do? Well, I just planned another solo trip to Paris. If you’ve been following me, the husband didn’t show up for the last Paris trip (unfortunately, that ship has sailed). Paris has a special place in my heart, and I can’t wait to go back.

With all that said, I’m gathering my thoughts and running with them, uncertain where they’ll lead. Frustrated, I feel the time ticking away, wondering what will become of me and my elusive soul mate (the hunted). Perhaps I’m too much for the man I dream about, or sadly, maybe he doesn’t exist. I’m not giving up; I believe he’s out there, just not tonight. I’m not in love, but I’m still searching.

LC

xo