Dear Christmas,

You and I have been at odds many times, but we’ve always found our way back to each other. I love your twinkling lights, the smell of a fresh Christmas tree, and the promise of magic in the air, but sometimes, you’re just too much. The endless to-do lists, the pressure to create picture-perfect moments, and the way you sneak up faster every year—it’s a lot. Still, despite the chaos, I can’t help but adore you. I know, it doesn’t make sense, does it?

This year, though, feels different. For the first time, I’m away from home and my family during the holidays. Adding to the distance is the loss of my mother. Her absence has hit me harder than I expected, especially now, during the Christmas season she loved so much. My holiday decorations are sitting untouched in my locker, buried behind a lifetime of things I left behind. My family is making plans without me this year, apart from a quick Facetime on Christmas morning. I’ll be eight hours ahead, seeing their faces through a screen. I miss them, and I can’t wait to see them 🙂

I know how lucky I am to have a loving family, one that supports me unconditionally. They cheered me on when I decided to pack up and explore a new life in Paris and beyond. But knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. Some moments, no matter how exciting the adventure, are simply bittersweet.

I’m also keenly aware that I’m not alone in feeling this way. So many people face Christmas with heavy hearts—missing someone they’ve lost, feeling the ache of loneliness, or struggling with memories that don’t match the glossy perfection we’re told the holidays should hold. It’s a time that magnifies both joy and pain, often in equal measure.

I know my situation isn’t unique, and in the grand scheme of things, I do have holiday plans in the works, and I’m surrounded by love in so many ways. For that, I’m deeply grateful. I’m just having a little moment, letting the emotions of the Christmas season catch up with me. I’ll be okay—because there’s so much to appreciate.

But it does make me pause and think about all the ways this Christmas season connects us, even in our struggles. For every twinkling light and cheerful carol, there’s someone out there feeling the weight of what’s missing. And yet, despite it all, we keep going—finding moments of comfort, laughter, or even just quiet reflection. It’s in those small moments, I think, that the true spirit of Christmas lives.

Wishing you all a wonderful and magical holiday season…xoxo