One of the very first things I do when I wake up is make my bed, but I didn’t today. For the first time, I didn’t care, giving it an eye roll and yet, slightly worried, those dreams of mine, fragile of late, would somehow vanish amongst the crumpled sheets; I left it unmade.

Dreams are our subconscious thoughts, emotions and ideas that occur during certain stages of sleep. They’re also plans we make for our future to escape the normal or just wishful thinking, usually shared with someone we love. Lately, I’ve been flying solo in the dream department. It’s hard for me to imagine what my dreams may look like these days, shattered after having them ripped out from underneath me.  

Where do I start? Dreaming of a holiday would be lovely if only I could imagine who I’m travelling with. That said, I will not stop doing the things I love just because I’m on my own. How about a first date? I dream about that often, more frequently is, where will I meet him? I have talked to the fucking universe more times than I care to admit, and it’s not listening! Instead, it’s having fun at my expense, sending me men who are definitely not what I’m looking for.

Case in point, I’m not anyone’s MILF (ask your kids); it’s flattering, I think? I considered it for a brief second, deciding it’s not an option, ever! I can’t get my head around men dating much younger women. Sorry, I’m a bit judgy; I don’t understand it. Therefore, my personal rule is five years younger and five years older, with a few exceptions, Richard Gere, Sam Heughan, and Gabriel Macht, and much too old for me, but I still adore is Robert Redford.

Two doors down from me is a lovely older man (probably quite the lady’s man in the day); he’s always giving me a glance and complimenting me on my appearance, not that there’s anything wrong with that. However, it’s how he says it and looks at me that makes me want to turn on my heels and run in the other direction. Is that crazy? I know; it’s all in my head. He is a very sweet man who is probably lonely.

For something different, the universe sent me a drunk indigenous man. I noticed him standing from the sidewalk, staring in my front window while drinking a beer. He appeared to be talking to me, asking me if I would hug him. OH MY GOD, seriously?!

I was totally creeped out. I ran upstairs, hoping he would get bored and go away. But no, he decided to ring the doorbell, this being a better course of action. Naturally, my guard dog was taking a nap. I went to check on my visitor, who was now at my front door, talking to me through my half-opened window, “I’ll go away; I just want a hug” I guess he’s lonely too.

To be clear, a dream can be absolutely anything. I’ve always said, dream BIG, put it out there and see what happens, and I thought I did this. Of course, I hate to throw my fists up in the air because I’m not a quitter. LOL, this is not a cry for help…the world is my oyster, and I am grateful and beyond for everyone and everything I have in my life. I find myself at odds; for the first time, I can dream about anything and not be judged or told that I’m ridiculous or crazy. Finally, with that freedom, the possibilities are endless. I can imagine sweet dreams and, hopefully soon, the face of the person I will share them with.

LC

xo